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Green: Legislatures have bigger problems than violent video games

For my ninth birthday, my dad got me a copy of the video game Mortal Kombat. Since then, I've become a raging sociopath. In my home, I keep portly women I've abducted at the bottom of a well in my cellar, where I force them to apply the finest in topical moisturizers before I skin them and add them to my never-ending quest for my very own ‘woman suit'.

Actually, not so much.

Granted, my copy of Mortal Kombat was the sanitized version. In 1993, the national news media would have had you believe that parents everywhere were in sheer hysterics over the blood and guts flying at your local arcade. On home console versions of the game, when it came time to pull heads off, Nintendo replaced the digital blood with digital sweat, and decided immolation was much less icky than, oh, tearing someone's head off with his spinal column still firmly attached.

Mortal Kombat, and a god-awful game called Night Trap for the SEGA CD, served as the catalyst for the creation of the Entertainment Software Ratings Board. Politicians called for everything from regulation to outright bans. Cooler heads prevailed, and the ESRB and its now-ubiquitous game rating system were born.

Before video games were targeted, a Tipper Gore hissy fit that led to the advisory stickers slapped on CDs. All but the hippest of '90s parents wanted the music encoded on those CDs to stay out of the ears of their little snowflakes. Towards the end of the decade, the U.S. Congress, in conjunction with the FCC, PTC, the Clinton Administration and electronics companies, all banded together to implement a new television ratings system and the technology to block programs based on their ratings.

Apparently, this isn't good enough for the hippies out in California. Lacking anything better to legislate against — that pesky insurmountable debt crisis and crumbling infrastructure of theirs being of no great import — politicians on the best coast are insisting upon everything from warning labels "citing the health risks of excessive exposure to violent media" to reintroducing the same damn legislation that got shot down in this week's 7-2 decision. This time, however,  the proposals will be rendered in fancy, slightly different words, so as to circumvent the evil bureaucratic machine.

Folks, there's nothing I can stand less than people concocting completely unwarranted, unsubstantiated "values-based" legislation.

I could geek out for the rest of the column about how the average gamer is beyond the typical age of a college student, how the FTC just said the video game and retailing industries are doing a hell of a job self-regulating, or how studies suggest the proliferation of violent video games may be responsible for the decline in violent crime, it's been done. You can Google that.

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